Being a single mom is certainly one of the hardest jobs out there. The continuous juggling between work, taking care of children, and household chores is overwhelming. But do not despair several practical tips will assist you in managing everything. Here are some tried-and-true ideas from other single moms who have walked in your shoes and figured out ways not just to survive but how to really thrive.
“First and foremost, one needs to get hold of one’s finances,” said Chris, a single mother from Massachusetts. A woman should have a budget and keep it updated. “My big tip is to create a budget, but my most important tip is to keep it updated,” she said. Taking a bit of time on Sunday evenings allows her the capability to maintain her spending on the right path and bypasses that scrambling, irritating experience worrying where her money is at the end of the month. Excel, Google Sheets, or budgeting apps like Mint and YNAB can all help with this.
Missing a payment and getting charged a late fee may be an indication that it’s time to set up the bills to be paid automatically. Liz, a mom of two from New York City, was leery at first, but it’s “been invaluable once you get used to the automatic withdrawals.” “At this point, I am used to the money coming out at a set time, and I don’t have to worry about being late,” she says.
Other great financial advice would be to use any tax breaks and programs offered by the government. Monica from Massachusetts answered that it helps to research programs such as the Child Tax Credit and the Child Care Tax Credit so that you ensure you are saving as much as possible when you file your taxes. Additional programs such as SNAP and WIC have proven to be very helpful for getting food and nutrition support.
Being in the area of childcare, a support network is going to be necessary. Pauline of Wisconsin and the mother of two share in the fact that some of the best choices she ever made were befriending other single moms. “There is absolutely no guilt in asking another single mom for help watching your kids now and then because she knows the struggle,” she said. When people form connections with other single parents, it often opens the doors to mutual help and childcare time.
For those who crave more organized help, Judy, a mother of three in Austin, recommends what she calls the “sleepover exchange club,” where one mom at a time takes her friend’s kids for the night, relieving the others of their fetters. “This is how I’ve managed to date; otherwise I don’t think it would ever happen,” she says.
And carpooling will actually help to save your time and avoid stress. Points out Pauline: “When it’s not my day, I get an extra hour or so to do things around the house or get to work early.” Small consolation, but it can potentially liberate a big block of your time.
Another thing that helps maintain sanity is organization. Jo, a mother of three from Maine, swears by keeping a tight routine for each day. “We have a very specific routine for weekdays, and no one is allowed to mess it up, including me,” she says. After a while, doing the same thing day in and day out helps to reduce the surprises and keeps things running according to plan.
A meal plan in and of itself can change the game. Take Kim, for example, a New Jersey mother of two who created a mealtime list system that seems to rotate around dinner to keep it simple. “I came up with eight different dinner lists that cover one dinner for each day of the week,” she says. What that meant was that for every night, she always had a dinner plan and would never get caught by surprise at the last minute.
In addition, you can also include technology tools, such as Google Calendar, in your system for more organization. Kim uses color to code school events, activities for the family, and anything personal she needs to put on the calendar. With this shared calendar system, everybody in the family will know what is going on.
Do as much as possible the night before to save time in the mornings. For instance, Jaclyn, who is a single mom of three, prepares the clothes, lunches, and backpacks for her kids the night before. “It makes getting three kids out the door by myself go so much smoother,” she would say.
Taking care of your self is as important as taking care of daily tasks. Judy, a single mother, sufficiently believes in setting kid-free time for self-care. She says, “You need time without your kids. It helps you be a better mom in the long run and you deserve it, too.” Whether it is hiring a sitter for an hourly rate, or a family member, do what you need to do for you.
Lastly, bear in mind that you can’t do everything. “When you do what you can, you’re showing your kids strength and teaching them how to persevere,” says Claire, a single mother with two children. Because you do what you can, you show your children a way out, how to go on. You know you’re going to have days when it’s tough, but to be able to get through those helps to show your children how to do it.
Remember You Are Doing a Great Job. With these hints in place and seeking help when you need it, you can handle the woes of single motherhood with strength and grace.